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Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
I will be taking all of my fashion advice from Mr. T from now on
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Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
This is why I only use mechanical pencils
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In local news.....
41 year old Jeffrey Barrier was arrested the other day at Aloha Tanning in Cincinnati, Ohio for trying to take pictures of a 35 year old woman who was trying to avoid getting tan lines. When Jeff was confronted by the police, he assured them that he could not have done this because he did not have a cell phone or a camera on him. When Jeff was searched the police discovered that he was telling the truth.... the camera phone was not on him, it was in him. That's right, Jeff rocketed his phone into his ass to hide it from police. One can only guess what was running through his head other than thanking God that the days of the Zach Morris phones are over. I wonder if the phone was on vibrate.
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
In my travels......
I have been fortunate enough to have been able to travel and see much of the world. I have learned many things in my travels. I would like to share them with you. Who knows... something you learn here may help you out of a jam one day.
First and foremost, don't drink the water of any third world country. Trust me, you don't want diarrhea mainly because you can't take a shit in a toilet... you have to squat and shit in the street.... oh yeah, watch where you step too.
If your not a huge fan of a girl with a monster bush then you might not want to venture to any pools or beaches when your traveling outside of the United States. I've learned that most girls in other countries shave everything but their pubes.... it's kinda gross
I've learned that you should always ask for your pilots credentials or ask to see his license. Just because he's in the cockpit doesn't mean he's qualified to fly. Remember, there is no point in traveling if you can't get to where you need to go safely.
I've learned that if you don't want your children to be exposed to explicit things then you should leave them at home. Other countries are much more liberal than the US.... Sex education starts as early as 5 years old in some parts of the world.
I have learned that sports are very big in other countries like they are here. They can be different though. For example, in Japan, female golfers don't use caddies. They transport all of their clubs in their vagina's. Women's golf is very popular in Japan. Men's golf is not.
I have also learned that some ancient cultures were made up of a lot of pedophiles. They have left their artifacts to prove it. Believe it or not, this statue's dick is only hard when a small child like this one is sitting on it's lap. 
The most important thing I have learned though is that no matter where you go or how many amazing things you see, you quickly learn that there is no place like home.
Well, hopefully you have learned something that can help you in your future travels. If you have any questions, feel free to email me at the address listed below.
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My weird little quirk after sex is paying and going home
Pillow Talk - Watch more free videos
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Monday, June 23, 2008
Breakfast.....
"Federal judges in Cincinnati want the Ohio Supreme Court to clarify a state law restricting the use of a pill that induces abortion that was supposed to go into effect in 2004. The law would make it illegal for doctors to prescribe a drug known as RU-486 after the seventh week of pregnancy. The case has been tied up in various courts. The 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals on Monday asked the Ohio Supreme Court to interpret parts of the law.
A lower federal court has ruled that the law is unclear and contains no exception to allow use of the drug in cases where a woman's health is at risk. "
Most of the women that read this blog are avid users of this pill. While you may not recognize it by its real name you commonly refer to it as breakfast. We support the womens right to choose and eat pills, smoke crack, take steps two at a time and stock up on coat hangars.
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Trip to the creation museum
Just in case you were wondering what it was like when Jesus rode on the back of dinosaurs,
You can go to the creation museum and see for yourself
It makes total sense to me that the dinosaurs would have saddles. So I guess that makes the Flintstones a documentary?
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Friday, June 20, 2008
FORE....
So we had a foursome set up today to play a little golf....
probinu, adamTgeorge, pittmaca and ShakHak.
However Shak pussed out and would rather be doing this....
We will still T up his ball for him though.
Please let him know what a douche he is.
probinu, adamTgeorge, pittmaca and ShakHak.
However Shak pussed out and would rather be doing this....
We will still T up his ball for him though.
Please let him know what a douche he is.
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Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Bitch-slapping Mt. Adams update
Dear all you Sleeve of Wizard fanatics out there,
We have submitted our design to Red Bull for the October 4th Soap Box Derby down Mt. Adams. We are now awaiting approval from the good men and women at Red Bull (and they will remain good men and women as long as they approve our fucking brilliant design). What is our design you ask?... Well, I'm not going to spoil it for you. Your going to have to make the trip to Cincinnati on October 4th to see it for yourself. I will give you a hint though:
A giant baby
+
Wheels
+
Our insanely huge balls
= our fucking brilliant soap box design
We'll keep you posted.
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The Great Deer Hunt
Probinu and I decided to do a little deer hunting the other day.
I got geared up with my favorite weapon:
Probinu did the same (he hates loud noises):
This is pretty much what we saw all day. Yeah, a lot of green and nothing with a white tail:
Luckily we hit the jackpot on the way home:
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Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Launch Every Zig
No blog is complete without this video. I have no idea how it took so long for us to post it.
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Things I bid on at Ebay.....
I think I am going to buy this.
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Sunday, June 15, 2008
Apparently there was a fight on Friday night....
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Friday, June 13, 2008
Bodies Night In
4pm
Feet: Workin' hard there, Butt?
Butt: Not really. He's been on the couch for hours, but it's pretty mindless work.
Feet: I think everyone is pretty wiped. I heard Liver shouting earlier about how "if he wants any alcohol tonight you can metabolize it your damn selves!"
Butt: You know how he gets.
6:30pm
Brain: Hey guys, listen up a sec? Everyone has been really busting it lately. It's been a hell of a week, so looks like we're going to take it easy tonight and stay in.
Hand: Awesome! Hey, you hear that, Balls? Brain just called it. He's not going out. Looks like we'll be working together tonight!
Balls: Excelsior!
8pm
Liver: Will you shut the ef up, Stomach! I'm trying to get some rest
Stomach: Oh calm down dude. You got the night off. I'm just starving. Where the hell is some dinne...oh wait. Here comes something. A brownie?
Mouth: I know, I thought it was weird too.
Stomach: Whatever, I'll take what I can get. Let's see what we have here, some saturated fats...sugars, nice...some decent starches...a, hang on. HELLO, what's this? This isn't my call, but I swear there's THC in here.
Red Blood Cells: Good catch, Stomach. But you know we gotta run that upstairs.
Stomach: You guys are so corrupt. We know you probably keep most of this stuff yourselves.
10pm
Balls: I love you, Hand.
Hand: Shhhhh.....
Balls: If I were a kitten, I'd be purring right now. You're the best.
11pm
Ears: Eyes, what's up? We just lost the picture.
Eyes: Sorry, I keep falling down.
Ears: Well if this was 1890 and he was rocking out to a phonograph, we'd be fine. But he's playing friggin' GTA4, so stay with it!
Eyes: Sorry, sorry. He just had an energy drink, so I'll be alright.
11:15pm
Liver: What the F*CK is this? Are you kidding me? I FINALLY get a night to myself...
Stomach: Whoa, buddy, what's going on? What's the matter?
Liver: That was an alcoholic energy drink, you prick! I spend 6 nights a week processing toxins for you ungrateful assholes, and I get ONE night off.
Stomach: I'm sorry man, I didn't even know! Mouth had no idea!
11:20pm
Balls: Everyone? Hand and I have a very important announcement.
Hand: We're going away together.
Skeletal System: Um, you can't do that.
Balls: Don't judge our love! You said the same thing about Mouth and Penis!
Mouth and Penis: SHUT UP about that!
11:30pm
Brain: Hey everyone, i know it's early, but I'm gonna start shutting things down. Wrap up whatever you're doing.
Balls: I don't want this night to ever end.
12am
Brain: Nice, everyone looks so peaceful. Initiating sleep sequence in 5-4-3-2...
(Leg randomly kicks in the air)
Everything: Whoa!
Leg: Sorry. Just restless.
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Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
World of Warcraft expansion hits the shelves
'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft'
There was once I time when I would consider playing such a game... I'm glad those times are behind me now. RIP great my great Hunter and Priest friends.
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Apparently soccer is a popular sport....
With action like this, Shak may cross the pond and play a little footsie.......
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Shak's car modification update...
A while ago I let you know Shak was pimping his ride.
Here is the latest update:
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Bad Ass
I was a bad ass even when I was little...
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Tuesday, June 10, 2008
What does free tires for life have to do with satisfying butts?
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Some pictures I found online
It's all fun and games until my car falls through the earth:
I've always told dad to keep his shirt on when performing, but he says he gets bigger tips when showing more skin:
That giant dog always freaked me right the fuck out:
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I get all my news from BET....
Bug in Mouth Brings Out the Street in Reporter - Watch more free videos
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Email 2.0
So I guess emailing us is now the cool thing to do.
Dear Assholes,
I was going to compose a long, hateful email message about how distasteful and revolting your website is. However, I feel that, as a woman, I am above such actions. Therefore, I have decided to compose an acrostic poem instead.
Appalling
Slum
Sucks
Hateful
Ostentatious
Lame
Example (of something bad)
Stupid
You're welcome.
Insincerely,
Your avid reader
P.S. I will blow J-Geazie and/or Shakhak for five dollars (each). I have a paypal account... and a P.O. Box... and an apartment.
P.P.S. I'm desperate.
P.P.P.S. and hot.
Our Reply....
Dear Avid Reader,
Since you took the time to come up with such a beautiful poem, I thought I would take some time and reply to your email. I want to tell you that the creativity your poem oozes is extraordinary, but you could have come up with something better for 'E'. Obviously you're not the average acne faced cum guzzling slut like most of our avid sleeve wizard reading sluts, you used the word Ostentatious and I don't even know what the fuck that means. So you're an outstanding acne faced cum guzzling slut with super hero like powers. Sucking golf balls through garden hoses, chrome off of trailer hitches and the virginity out of prepubescent little boys. Thank you for the poem and I hope you continue to enjoy our slum sucking hateful blog!
P.S. I'm pretty sure that only one of your three PSs are true. It has to be the first one. There is no doubt in my mind that you'll take a steaming sleeve of wizard protein injection into your wide open mouth, chewing it cheeks so chubby that it makes a hungry hungry hippo feel good about himself. Since your obviously willing to do this, your not desperate, anyone will unload the cum clip into a ogre's mouth. And since sucking the magical mayonnaise out of the unicorn horn is about all you do, it's obvious that your ashamed to strip down and grab your ankles like the good looking girls. I know you love that midnight snack before going to bed, but playing with my balls will only keep me around for so long.
With loving compassion,
Shakhak
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Monday, June 9, 2008
Shaks drive to michigan...
It was a slow one
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There's no special deal if I order now? You won't even throw in free shipping?
Human Juiceifier - Watch more free videos
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One spoiler to rule them all
Deal with it.
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Thursday, June 5, 2008
Does anybody want to take a round-house kick to the face when I'm wearing these babies?
I don't think so.
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Thank god for vag cakes and google
Harwell got an e-mail address last night from a girl at one of our fine local drinking establishments. Now he's doing some research.
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Wednesday, June 4, 2008
1-855-My-Ninja
If you have ever wanted to open your heart and give back to a community that needs it, this is the time. Save a ninja.
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Walk of no shame
I think I'm going to make this the official Sleeve of Wizard theme song.
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Monday, June 2, 2008
Just a test
Now that the Sex and the City movie is out, Team Sleeve of Wizard has a vision test for you.
Is this a cute puppy?
If you say yes then you probably think this person is hot and you need to go get your fucking eyes checked or maybe look into getting a lobotomy.
Seriously.... she's fucking disgusting.
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