Ham Wallet vs. Wizard Sleeve: May 2008

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Real Street Magic

This guy is one of the best out there

Love Us? Hate Us? Let us know: teamsleeveofwizard@gmail.com

Getting some yard work done today...

Love Us? Hate Us? Let us know: teamsleeveofwizard@gmail.com

Rate this drug: Legend of the Purple Sticky

Salvia Divinorum

The only drug in Ohio that you can buy with a credit card (which we did) is Salvia Divinorum, also known as Purple Sticky. Our latest quest to find the best "new thing" brought Shakhak and J-Geazie to the Clifton smoke shop where we purchased this mild hallucinogen. After purchasing it with a fucking Visa card we took it back to Shakhak's apartment and gave it a whirl. I'll make this short and sweet. For some reason every towel in the world was too small and Shakhak's pad quickly turned into a space ship. The only bad thing was the effects only lasted from 30 seconds to a minute when we were ripped back into reality where towels are of adequate size and the apartment was not on it's way to the moon. Since this "drug" is completely legal, we suggest you strap on your moon boots and give it a try (if your into that type of thing). If little Bobby Jr. is reading this.... I highly suggest you pick some up at your local smoke shop.... just don't let your douchebag father catch you.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Jesus was a glutton for punishment.

Sorry Bob, but little Bobby needs to know how shit really went down when he's on the computer at 2 in the morning.

Hot Cosplay...

Cosplay is a... sport... hobby... activity... fuck if I know what it's considered, but it's when someone dresses up like a character from a movie, book, comic, or video game.

I don't know who half of these chicks are supposed to be, but I'd make cosplay babies with all of them given the chance.

Some examples:

Just another hot jap chick to me

Panty shot

I really don't even know what to say about this one

Insert joke about the links pulling on my master sword or blowing my ocarina

Seriously. Samus is fucking hot and I've just spent the last 20 minutes face fucking this picture.

Source

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Our first hate mail!

Dear idiots,
I came home from work at 2 in the morning to find my 8 year old son sitting at the computer. After I yelled at him for being up so late and sent him to bed I went to the computer to see what he was looking at. It was your site. I went through it and I have to say that I am disgusted. You openly insult mentally disabled people, you openly use vulgar language, you openly talk about alcohol and drug use, and worst of all (in my opinion) you poke fun of our lord Jesus Christ. I have worked very hard to raise my son in a loving christian household and all you have done is ruined it. Put yourself in my shoes. Would you like your children to see the disgusting filth that you have on your site? I certaintly think not. Since you all act like your 12 years old with your potty humor, would you like your parents to see what your puting on your site? I'm sure that this is all falling on deaf ears and your all too stupid to listen to what I have to say but you should stop what your doing right now. I'm sure I'm not the only person who thinks so. You all need to grow up.
Sincerely,
An angry parent

And our reply......

Dear Angry Parent (Bob)
Thank you for emailing us with your concerns. The last thing we would want to do is harm a child. Maybe if you didn't drop out of high school you wouldn't have to work the grave yard shift at the landfill (and you could spell words such as PUTTING AND CERTAINLY). Then you would actually be able to be with your son and show him the dangers of the Internet. Unfortunately, it is not my (or any other member of Team Sleeve of Wizard) job to be a parent to your son. It is your job. If you don't want him looking at certain websites on the Internet maybe you should watch what he does more carefully. I'm glad your son was looking at Ham Wallet vs. Wizard Sleeve. It sounds to me that your son is growing up in some oppressive household. Without our site, your son might not learn what a vagina is until he's 30. When your son graduates home schooling (because you sound like the kind of dick that would make their son be home schooled so you can teach creation instead of evolution) and he goes to college, he's going to go nuts, get addicted to crack, and drop out and probably become an even worst version of you. It will all be your fault too. I have a good idea. Instead of giving us advice on how to live our lives, let me give you advice on how not to be an asshole. Here it is... don't blame other people for your own problems. Anyway, have a good day today and have a good night shoveling shit at work tonight, hopefully you don't strain your back.
Sincerely,
Team Sleeve of Wizard
P.S. Tell your son we thank him for checking out our site and that he can come back anytime.

Email us your own hate mail for fan mail or just whatever the hell you want to send to teamsleeveofwizard@gmail.com

Looks more like a toy for lonely men.. not a toy for kids.

Don't you mean Stuff-Hug-Face fuck?

Bob Ross is back from the dead.

Jed told me... "Don't bury Bob Ross in that old indian burial ground... the ground's gone sour... the indians knew it.. that's why they stopped using it... Don't bury Bob Ross in that indian burial ground I say.. He'll come back, but he won't be the same."
I should have fucking listened because now he's creepier than ever.

Bob Ross is Alive! - Watch more free videos

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Work can be hard

http://view.break.com/509190 - Watch more free videos

I hate that noise too.

I'm just not sure I hate it as much as these guys.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I think somebody needs to get a clue.

Pac Man Coming to the Big Screen

Yeah... so some guy named Grosvenor Park has the movie "Pac-Man" on his plate. What the hell does he have dreamed up for this? What in the world could be entertaining about 2 hours of a yellow pill popping, ghost chasing head... actually that sounds sweet. Sign me up. Here's some shit the movie could be about:

Proof that Pac Man is a movie about the dangers of mixing drugs with outer space?

Proof that it's a movie about Pac Man being the anti-christ?

Proof that it could be a Zombie pac man movie?

Proof that they are just using the name to sell Scream 7?

Proof that Pac Man could be a badass movie. Shit, it even has motorcycles.

source

This guy is my fucking idol

Friday, May 23, 2008

McGruff looks different... I don't recongnize him without his hat and trench coat.

It is hard growing tits.

Phone sex.

This is why I only call the phone sex lines that are known for their great personal service.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

wrestle

KO

At least he's still in shape

Things now cheaper than gas:

To celebrate gas prices rising to an all time high of just over $4 this holiday weekend, Team Sleeve of Wizard has compiled a list of things that are cheaper and more worth while than a tank of gas.

1- beer

Why drive anywhere when you can walk to a store and get hammered for half the cost of filling up your tank?

2- crack whore

Just throw her on the handle bars of your 10 speed and give it to her behind the dumpster in some back alley, still much cheaper than a tank of gas.

3- cocaine

You won't even need to drive after you do a line of nose candy....you can just run to where you need to go.

4- car pool

If you still need a car to get where you have to go, you could always car pool with 2, 3, 4, or 27 other people. It'll save you some gas money but it might fuck up the suspension on your 1986 Cheverlet S-10.

5- internet porn

Turn off the lights, lower the shades, and drop your pants... why even leave your cave of a room when you can sit at the computer for hours on end and beat off to internet porn until every key on your keyboard sticks and your palms are completely covered in hair and you go blind.... still cheaper than gas.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Bikini race

Cincinnati Exchanging Nude Cell Phone Photos

A news site is reporting some disturbing information about people exchanging nude photos via cell phones
Some highlights of the artical include:

"One of the most dangerous tools your kids have now might be their cell phone."
Dangerous is cool. I'll cut you with my nude pics.

"someone kept sending me a picture of this guy's private parts and I didn't even know the guy," said high school student Emily Stanton. Montgomery Police Officer Paul Payne said he's seeing it first-hand."
Why is that officer looking at nude pictures of some poor man...

"It's no longer just peer pressure to have sex, there's peer pressure to have proof."
About time. That should stop all those liars in Jr High who said they slept with the cheerleaders when the only pink piece of meat they've ever seen was undercooked chicken.

"I got over 30 responses from resource officers around the Tri-State who are experiencing the same thing that I am, in epidemic proportions,"
This is the only time I've ever heard a flood of nude pictures described as a problem.

Enough about this article. Sleeve of Wizard is here to help fix this problem. We are going to rid the internet and phones of nude pictures. If you have them, send them to us. We'll lock them away and will not hand them out.
We might show them off in a weekly or monthly contest of sorts, but they will be protected. Kept secret and secure in our Nudez Safe

Send you're cell phone pics here and we'll make this official soon.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Random

What the fuck?

Possibly the greatest super hero of all?

This is where I like to go to buy most of my stuff.

Finally... a picture that will help all you retarded parents out there.

Google Images: McDonalds

Here is the number one reason we don't google for images of McDonalds:

Here are some other sweet McDs pictures...

McDs goes to Africa

I guess they got tired of making boots with all their nuggets so they went for something a little more natural.

Good advice

Lord I don't even want to know what kind of meat that is, but I can't help to wonder...